skybluejeep | IC Contact Post For Tushanshu & Nematon

[ Derek watches him go, and huffs, because, what? No, that wasn't right, and Derek can smell the misery and loathing rolling off Stiles, this wasn't how this was supposed to go at all. Derek sets his plate down, a little harder than he means to, and stands up, walking right up to Stiles and taking his plate. He sets it aside and crowds up into Stiles' personal space, looking him in the eye. ] You still have feelings for me.

Yes!

[God, Derek right up in his personal space is thrilling and confusing and painful, so he does what he does best, which is rant.]

Yes, okay? Yes. I'm not over it. I'm not gonna get over it. That's not how I work, okay? Ask Lydia, she'll give you chapter and verse. You two can form a damn club! The "Amazing people who that idiot loser just won't get over" club.

It's a small club, very exclusive membership. Okay? Fine. Yes. So you better go. Because I cant-...I'm just not strong enough to-...

[ Derek had to hear him say it. He had to listen for it, had to make sure that Stiles wasn't lying, because he and Stiles are friends, and he and Stiles might be more than friends, but Derek can't trust himself to just go with it, anymore. He knows Stiles isn't Kate, he knows Stiles isn't Jennifer, he isn't Peter, but there's a part of Derek that will cause him to second guess things like that, whether or not something is real.

He needed to hear that Stiles wasn't lying when he said it, because Derek didn't trust himself to believe him without that concrete proof.

Derek doesn't quite know what to do with that information, as glad as he is to hear it. Stiles is angry and Derek's fairly sure that if he kisses him now, it'll just make him angrier. But he has to let him know somehow. ]

Okay.

[ He says it quietly, but firmly, and he steps back from Stiles just enough to let him get away if he wants to. Derek's hoping Stiles realizes that Derek doesn't want him to. ]

[And Derek is stepping away and saying 'okay.' Which Stiles takes to mean that he's leaving. Again.

And the loneliness, the utter and complete and god-awful loneliness hits him like a freight train. He turns away from Derek to grip at the counter, and refuses, fucking refuses to cry. No crying. No.]

...Okay.

No, I mean that's okay. [ He says it firmer, maybe even a little angrier, because Stiles isn't catching on. ] It's okay. I... [ And he huffs, angry at himself, because the words are getting stuck again. Derek clenches a fist, closing his eyes. ] I'm glad you do. Because it means I was wrong. And I really wanted to be wrong.

[Now he's just confused. Confused and lonely, not a good combo.]

Huh? What...were you wrong about?

Derek, I-...

[He can't. He literally cannot right now. He shuts his mouth and winces: He's biting the inside of his cheek so hard that he's drawing blood.]

[ Derek can smell the blood, and he frowns at it, narrowing his eyes. ] I caused you to break up with someone you were happy with. It was my fault you were miserable. I saw you... asking someone else out to dinner, so I thought... you didn't, anymore. And I didn't want that. At all.

What?!

[Now he's turned back around, a completely gobsmacked look on his face.]

You didn't cause me to do anything! Oh, no. No! No, Derek, you are not allowed to feel guilt about my mistake. And who the hell was I asking out to dinner, what are you even talking about?

The girl, you said something about your Jeep not working, it doesn't matter. [ Derek scowls at him. ] That's not the point.

What girl? ...Wait, you mean Isaac's friend?

Wow. Okay, one? Creeper. Second of all, two, she had lost a friend and I was trying to be nice.

[He's just feeling all the emotions right now. Loneliness and anger and confusion and heartbreak...and a very small kernel of hope. Because...]

Derek. What are you trying to tell me?

[ It was public! He was curious because she had said she was Isaac's friend! Still not the point!!

Derek sighs, setting his jaw. ] I'm not trying, I am.

No you haven't!

[Oops, we've added frustration to the mix. They really are bad at communicating. Not boding well at all.]

You've said you were wrong about something vague and god only knows what that could mean, and then you said you felt bad because I thought with my dick instead of my head, and then you said you didn't want me asking a girl out to dinner. And that's it. I have literally zero idea what you're trying to tell me right now, Derek!

I like you! [ He spits it out, practically a yell, and he instantly regrets it because that was not how he wanted Stiles to hear that. He doesn't know how he wanted it to happen, but not like that, not said in frustration. He huffs a frustrated sigh out of his nose, looking away, the tips of his ears burning. ]

[And that? Is like a kick in the gut. At first, he's not sure he heard him right. But then, he just gapes stupidly at Derek, like he's about to spontaneously combust.]

Wait. ...What? You like me?

Like...like me like me? Or are you...? Oh my god...

[ Derek's too annoyed and riled up now, too frustrated that he has to spell it out for Stiles, and that it's his own fault that he has to. So he acts on instinct:

He reaches out and grabs Stiles by the shirt and hauls him in for a kiss. It's brief, dry, and pretty chaste, all things considered, but he doesn't pull far when he releases Stiles' mouth, speaking in a whisper. ] Yes. I like you like you.

[When Derek grabs him, his entire body goes pliant, and he lets himself be dragged close. And when that kiss lands, he's gone. It's like all the misery and self-loathing he's been carrying for a month vanishes instantly, and he sighs easily, dreamily.]

...Oh.

Okay.

[ Derek rolls his eyes, and he's blushing now, frowning at Stiles. ] Okay?

[That blush is the most amazing thing Stiles has ever seen, and he feels his own face going a little hot as well.]

Yeah.

Do that again?

[ Derek frowns, but leans in again, kissing him with a little more purpose this time, soft and gentle. ]

[He has been fantasizing about this for ages. He'd expected Derek to take charge, but no. This was sweet, and tender, and gentle and that's just too much for Stiles to stand. He melts into the kiss, giving as good as he's getting, letting Derek steer for now. And when they finally part, he sighs quietly.]

So that's what it's supposed to be like.

[His voice is dreamy, and distant. He's over the moon, obviously.]

Yeah. [ He replies, soft and maybe a little unsure. ] It is.

[ He's hesitant to touch, even though he thinks he can, now, that it's alright to do so. He reaches up and strokes Stiles' cheek with the back of his fingers, watching him intently. ] You alright?

[Stiles has the biggest, silliest grin on his face, and he tilts his head into Derek's touch, chasing it and needing more of it.]

Never better. Wow.

[He finally looks up, and reaches up tentatively with his own hand, before hesitating.]

May I?

Yeah. [ He nods. ] Go ahead.

[It might take a while for that to stop, the asking permission. But now that he has it, he reaches up and cups Derek's jaw with one long-fingered hand. And he's stroking his thumb along his cheekbone.]

So. Wow. You really like me. I thought...I didn't know you. Um. Swung that way.

[ Derek leans into it, loves the contact, turns his face enough to press his lips to Stiles' palm. ] I don't. [ And that came out wrong, so he quickly follows up. ] I just... you. Just you.

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